WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
