so explain again why im purple
no
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
