I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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