That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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