The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
