He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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