woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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