covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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