I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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