dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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