is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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