just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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