I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
