I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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