Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
