At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
