It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
