dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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