Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
