im drinking this country out of the recession.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
