are you still at the devil's house?
The maid of honor just puked.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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