3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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