Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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