You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
