Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
