I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
