I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't deserve a penis
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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