is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
