so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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