Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
