I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
