Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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