I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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