Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
