Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
