I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
