Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
