We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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