I've blown a few things in my day
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Drake has all the answers
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize