So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
