Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
