Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
