Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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