Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
