Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
