cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
