okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
