Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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