i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
