some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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