Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
