Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My balls are so social today.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
