you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
