I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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