Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
