it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize