so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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