Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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