ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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