I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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