don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
