Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize