i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
