Ambien. No doubt about it.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
